The Wounded Silence
by mysticmonkey86
Summary: AU- Blaine Anderson has just won the lead role in a new Broadway show. The last thing he wanted to do was fall in love. #Blainechel *Somebody asked me to do a straight Blaine /Blainchel fic from Blaine's POV, I of course jumped at the chance!* As always, I appreciate reviews xxx
1. Chapter 1

**The Wounded Silence**

Exhaustion had started to set in for Blaine after the fifth hour of going over the same song and dance moves again and again. He couldn't understand what kept going wrong, from what he could see, the number was perfect each time. But the producers disagreed.

He figured they must be stressed due to it being opening night tomorrow, but it was no reason to work them all to the point of collapse.

He smiled as he thought back to when he first found out he had the job. He couldn't believe his luck. He had been struggling now for two years as a jobbing stage performer, and although he was lucky in the fact that he always seemed to get parts in Broadway shows, they were always the small parts of a large ensemble. He never had the chance to shine by dancing and singing on the back row of about fifty people and he didn't get paid nowhere near as much as what his friends thought he did. Most of the time, he lived pay check to pay check, hoping he would have enough money for food and bills for the next month.

Three months ago, he had heard that the guy currently playing Marius on the huge smash hit Broadway show Les Miserables , was leaving, so naturally, Blaine auditioned.

All throughout school people had told him that he was talented, and that he was something special. He had believed in himself, he thought that one day he would make it, but sometimes… life didn't quite turn out the way you planned. He was twenty three years old with no sign of ever making it to the top, until now….

At the audition for Les Mis, he sang his heart out. He had never put so much effort into an audition before in his entire life. He was crushed when at the end of the audition, a stern looking middle aged man told him he hadn't got it. He was very blunt about it and Blaine's whole spirit had been dampened as he walked out of the theatre back to the tiny but cramped flat he shared with his best friend Sam Evans.

It was just a few hours later he received a phone call that changed his life. That same man who had filled him with disappointment earlier that day was now his beacon of hope. Blaine listened as the man told him he hadn't been right for the Les Miserables show, but if he was interested, they would like to cast him in a brand new musical as the lead role.

Of course Blaine had jumped at the chance.

The show was titled 'When I Knew You' , and he would be playing Tony Carter, a troubled young man who falls into a seedy life of alcohol and gambling, sleeping with a number of woman along the way and fleecing them for everything they own to pay for his lifestyle. He screws over every girl he meets in both senses, leaving a number of broken hearts in his wake. Then he meets Felicity Hart and falls completely and utterly in love with the sweet girl from Ohio. He falls so hard for her that he's blind to the real reason she walked into his life, he stole everything from her sister Melissa a while back and Felicity is out for revenge. 'When I Knew You' turns even darker with Felicity killing Tony the day they were supposed to get married and then right at the end of the show, her sister who was still deeply in love with Tony returns and had no clue of her sister's revenge plans murders Felicity in a fit of rage.

It was a dark , twisted tale with no happy ever after that appealed to Blaine right from the start. It was different to anything else out there and as a performer, it was the type of role he lived for. The whole production was wonderfully written, with new , original music all the way through. It was to be housed in one of the most famous theatre's on Broadway , and had already generated interest from the media and critics. Blaine knew this would either make him or break him, and by the looks of things…. It was all going to work in his favour. At least he hoped it would . When he told Sam the good news , his friend had laughed all day, saying how ironic it was that he would be playing a womanizer. This was a sore subject for Blaine.

It wasn't that he didn't want a girlfriend, it was just that he never had time. In fact, he hadn't dated anyone for three years. He had been asked out plenty of times, but nobody had interested him enough to take time away from the stage and his dream of making it. He didn't view the world the way Sam and his other friends did. He had the mind set that there was no point in dating anyone if you knew it wasn't going to go anywhere. And he was fed up of everyone around him making such a huge deal about it. He was only twenty three, he didn't have to rush into anything. Sam had the opposite approach to Blaine, at school, he had dated every single cheerleader. And not only cheerleaders, everyone else as well. Sam had a bad habit of rushing in and 'falling in love' after two dates, and as much as Blaine loved his friend for his ability to love so fiercely and quickly, it was also one of his downfalls. Right now, Sam worked as a male model and was dating some model chick with the same name as his. Blaine didn't like the girl , he thought she was shallow and conceited, and he was almost positive she was cheating on Sam with about five other guys. Sam knew this as well of course, but decided to turn a blind eye. And if that was 'love' and 'dating' then Blaine was glad he hadn't found anyone to share it with yet. He had already made the mistake of throwing away his virginity with some dancer girl in a show he was in when he was nineteen. Their relationship had soon fizzled out afterwards, and he vowed to never sleep with another girl unless he loved her. Maybe he was old fashioned, maybe he was unrealistic about love, but it was the way he was and he wasn't going to change for anything or anyone.

Blaine jumped as his director started yelling at him to get on with the song. He shook himself out of the daydream and launched into the song again, still feeling completely worn out. This number was his favourite in the show though, it was the song on the morning of Felicity and Tony's wedding day, and Felicity has just told Tony straight out that she is going to kill him. As she's holding a gun to his head, he starts singing. It's an emotional number and by the end , he's on his knees pleading with her to shoot him. He is hurt so much by the fact that the one woman he loves doesn't love him back that death would be an easy option.

As Blaine sung, he noticed his co-star start to wobble. It had been a long day and the pressure was enormous on all of them to make this work. It was rare that new shows on Broadway made an impact and they all had too much to lose for this not to work. At first, he didn't think anything of it, he just put it down to every one of them feeling shattered from the rehearsals. It was only when he was on his knees at the end of the song looking into her eyes that he realised she really didn't look too good. She was pale and her face was covered in a sheen of sweat. He cried out as just at the point her character was supposed to pull the trigger, she fell backwards instead. Blaine managed to catch her before she hit her head, but she was out cold. She had fainted. The producers called for an ambulance and everyone anxiously waited for news. An hour later, they all got the news they were dreading. She wouldn't be able to return to the role. She was exhausted and would be put on strict bed rest for the next two weeks. And to deliver another blow, she didn't want to return to the role when she was better either. She wanted her understudy to have it.

Blaine watched as the producer phoned the understudy, and by the time he had hung up… he knew something was seriously wrong. It turned out that the understudy had got wind of what had happened and she didn't want to do the role either. She was too worried in case the same thing happened to her. Blaine groaned, wondering what the hell they were going to do. This was the last thing they all needed before opening night. If they had to cancel the show, Blaine didn't know how he would handle that. He had worked his ass off for this part, and to have it hanging in the balance terrified him.

He looked around sadly at the stage that was already all set up for the show, then walked over to the producer. He was just about to ask what the hell they were going to do when they heard footsteps behind them, echoing on the stage.

Blaine's breath caught as a beautiful girl walked up to them. She was dressed all in black, and as she got closer, he realised she was one of the theatre staff. Her black t-shirt had the theatre's name emblazoned on the front. Her long brunette hair was in a braid dangling over her shoulder, and she had the biggest brown eyes he had ever seen. She looked at Blaine somewhat shyly, then at the producer.

"Hi…I'm Rachel Berry. I…. uh… I couldn't help overhearing what happened. I was at the front of house when word got back to us that both the lead female and her understudy have dropped out. That's pretty shit."

Blaine tried not to laugh at her perfect summary of events, while the producer glared at her angrily.

"Yes. It's shit all right. Now if you'll excuse us Miss Berry, we have to figure out just how we are going to clear this 'shit' up."

Rachel glanced at Blaine again, then back at the producer.

"I'm just going to say it straight out and cut all the politeness…. I can play Felicity."

Blaine was completely stunned as his producer laughed out loud, looking Rachel up and down in amusement.

"You…. you can play Felicity? You have got to be screwing with me."

Rachel shook her head .

"No. Not at all sir. I know the part. I adore musical theatre and the only job I have been able to get is selling tickets at the front of the house. Nobody has ever taken a chance on me and I know I can do it. I took the liberty of copying sheet music and scripts a few weeks ago, and I know the part of Felicity well."

Blaine pursed his lips together, trying not to laugh. This girl was something else. She stole the script? Well this was a turn up for the books.

"You are crazy young lady. I can't just give the part to some girl who is stealing our scripts and music. I'm sure something else will turn up. Now get out of here before I think of seeing what the punishment is for theft of our scripts and music."

Blaine watched as Rachel went from looking scared, to disappointed. He knew that look all too well. It was the same look on his face every time he had failed to get a part he wanted. Although, it must have been even worse for her, she was stuck as a ticket seller. She had never even made it on to a Broadway stage. He shuddered at the thought of not being able to do what he loved.

"Can you sing?"

Rachel and the producer looked at him in shock as he asked her the question. She nodded her head enthusiastically as she looked back at the producer, her eyes full of hope.

"Look, just let me try out. Please. I can do this…. Every day for the last three weeks I have sneaked in to the back on the pretence of cleaning or something, just to watch you guys rehearse." Blaine raised an eyebrow at this news. How come he had never seen her before? Surely he would have remembered her. She was gorgeous. "How about the song where Felicity meets Tony and he starts to fall for her? Let me perform it for you and then if you still think it's a ridiculous idea, I will back off."

The producer looked like he was about to protest again. Blaine was curious to see if she could do it. The song she was talking about, 'A Man Like You' was hugely trying on whoever played Felicity. It happens just after she meets Tony at the casino where he is happily gambling away money that isn't his. He catches sight of her, and is instantly enthralled. He chases her for a date and she sings him this number about how she could never date a man like him. Of course, the act of chasing her and working hard for her makes Tony fall all the harder and by the end of the song, he is putty in her hands. There are a lot of high notes in the seven minute song, and it's a physically tiring performance as she insists she can't possibly be with him, and runs away at every turn. If this girl could perform that song, then she could easily do the whole show.

Blaine made his way to the middle of the stage, gesturing for Rachel to follow, then he looked at his producer and shrugged.

"We have nothing to lose by letting her try out. We might as well let her have a go while we figure out if there is any other option."

The producer sighed heavily as Rachel smiled at Blaine gratefully. The smile felt like a bolt of electricity going through him, he didn't think he had ever seen a smile so pretty.

"Fine. Let's get this over with then."

The producer walked over to the side of the stage and motioned for the orchestra to start the song. For the first time in weeks, Blaine felt nervous. He had no idea why. He had performed this song over and over again in the last few days. He didn't even have to do much in this one apart from act like a love sick puppy and follow her around throughout. Looking at Rachel right now, he knew he wasn't going to have to act that hard during this. If one smile could take his breath away, then it would be easy to pretend like she was everything he had ever wanted.

As she started singing, he was completely floored. Her voice was stunning. He couldn't believe it. He managed a quick glance at the producer who was also staring at her in astonishment. She was word perfect, note perfect and just…. Perfect.

In the middle of the song where 'Felicity' has to run her hand slowly down 'Tony's'' chest before pushing him away, Blaine completely froze for a moment. He managed to get his composure back just about, and at the end, when the producer told Rachel she could have the part and ran out to tell everyone the good news, Blaine grinned at her, his heart still racing from her touch.

"Congratulations. You really do know the part."

She nodded and smiled shyly.

"I'm a bit of a theatre nerd. I live for it. I can't believe he's just given me the part. Oh my God. Is this real? Is this really happening?"

He chuckled at her shock, nodding his head as he watched her dazed expression.

"It's all real."

She squealed with excitement and ran over to him , throwing her arms around his neck in a hug. He gasped at first, then reluctantly put an arm around her back gently. He didn't know why he was so terrified to touch her, he would have to be making out with her on stage every night from now on. He gulped at the thought. What was wrong with him? He hadn't acted like this with the other 'Felicity' .

"This is all thanks to you. He wouldn't have let me sing if you hadn't of persuaded him."

He shrugged and stepped away, wondering why the hell his cheeks felt hot.

"You shouldn't thank me just yet. Any second now, he's going to walk back in and demand you start rehearsing the show from the beginning. He is going to make you rehearse so hard until this show opens tomorrow night that you will be wanting to kill me, not thank me."

Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she grinned. She really did have the prettiest smile.

"For somebody who has been trying to catch a break on Broadway since I left school, being rehearsed to the point of exhaustion for a main part in a show sounds like heaven to me. So I really do mean the thanks. Besides, I get to kill you on stage, I don't want to do it in real life as well."

They were both laughing as the producer walked back on to the stage, informing them that they were to run through the show from the start straight away.

Blaine watched Rachel run back stage while he took his place centre stage for the opening number. He was scared, excited and nervous all at the same time. He couldn't figure out if he was looking forward to the kiss scene or dreading it. All he knew was that he felt funny.

This show had taken on a whole new meaning for him now that he would be playing opposite Rachel Berry.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Wounded Silence – 2**

Blaine's adrenaline was running high as he started acting out 'When I Knew You' from the beginning. He couldn't believe the events of the day. It was all so unexpected. And even though he too had been at the point of exhaustion, now he was playing alongside Rachel, he seemed to have a renewed energy.

The first quarter of the play just involved him gambling and hooking up with multiple girls. The play was clever in the fact that even though his character 'Tony' broke all these girls hearts, he didn't have to kiss them. The audience would get the story without the need for him to kiss fifteen different girls, for which he was grateful. Felicity was the only character he had to passionately kiss. He guessed it was because it added more to the story, it really made people believe that Felicity was the only woman for Tony.

It was hard as an actor doing kissing scenes, despite people on the outside looking in thinking it was easy, it wasn't. In fact, Sam had called him insane when he announced his relief he didn't have to kiss all the girls in the play. His best friend couldn't quite figure out what was so bad with getting intimate with a bunch of girls he barely knew. It was another reason why Blaine had always been different, he wasn't like that.

Kissing somebody for work was the hardest part of his job. He was romantic and sentimental, he had always liked a kiss to mean something. As he sang and chucked money in the air, he had the sudden realisation that he would have to kiss Rachel. His cheeks started turning pink and he felt hot as his producer looked at him suspiciously as he tried to keep it together.

When he had kissed the other girl playing Felicity, it had been a struggle at first. His producer had shouted at him, saying he need to make it more believable , that 'Tony' had really fallen for the girl. After a while, the scene had gotten better but it had taken some work. He wondered how many times he would have to rehearse kissing Rachel.

The first thirty minutes of the show just mainly featured him being an all round ass hole. Then Felicity is introduced and she sings the song 'A Man Like You' that he and Rachel had just done before the start of this rehearsal. He watched Rachel as for the second time, she nailed the song. She surprised him by knowing every single line of the script. This was her first run through and she didn't even need to read from the book, she was just saying the lines word perfect and even occasionally adding her own little things to the part. Blaine wondered how on earth she hadn't had her big break in the theatre world yet. He hoped all this would be her chance to shine.

The rest of the first act sees Tony falling deeper and deeper for Felicity, and just before the curtain comes down for the interval, she agrees to date him.

The hope is for the audience to hate this part, as far as they know, Felicity is still a sweet , innocent girl and Tony is a complete jerk who's going to end up breaking her heart. When the second act arrives, people will start to see Felicity change, and eventually , they realise her motives for getting with Tony in the first place.

The only kiss scene in the whole show comes when Tony proposes. When she says yes, he sweeps her off her feet, spins her round, and dips her low for a romantic movie style kiss. It marks the change in Tony, from womaniser to romantic, and this is the point where if everything went to plan, the audience members would start to soften towards him.

Blaine's heart was racing as he realised it was nearing the kiss. Rachel Berry stood in front of him while he was on his knees, giving 'Felicity' a heartfelt speech about how he couldn't imagine life without her. Just before he could ask her to marry him, Rachel put her hand up and stopped proceedings. The producer rushed over to centre stage, smiling kindly at Rachel.

"What's wrong Miss Berry? Everything was perfect, you are a complete natural. I am thanking my lucky stars for you today, I can't believe how well you know it."

Blaine realised he was still on his knees. He stood up awkwardly, feeling embarrassed for some reason. Rachel smiled gratefully at the producer.

"Thanks sir, that is most kind of you but uh…. I have to talk to you about this scene."

The producer raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest while Blaine looked confused. When Rachel started speaking again, she gave him a nervous glance.

"We have to kiss now right?"

The producer nodded while Blaine was more confused than ever.

"Well the thing is… I have been trying to break into this world for years now. And I have never had any luck. People have said it's because I'm too demanding but … I don't think I am. I just like things to be perfect. "

The producer sighed and scratched his head.

"I don't know what you are getting at Miss Berry, but I am not cutting the kissing scene. It's the only kiss of the show and if you aren't comfortable with that then you aren't right for the part."

To Blaine and the producers surprise, she started laughing.

"No, I don't want the scene to be cut. But I do have a suggestion."

Blaine felt like an idiot as he stood there wordlessly. Rachel was still in her black theatre uniform, the costume designers were back stage right now sorting out some clothes for her. She was smaller than the other girl playing Felicity had been.

"Go on…"

The producer sounded intrigued as he stared at Rachel. She took a deep breath, threw Blaine another nervous glance, then started speaking.

"When I was sixteen, I took this acting class and I have never forgotten it. The teacher had worked with all the famous Broadway stars and even some Hollywood stars as well. And this teacher taught us to never rehearse a kissing scene."

Blaine had to interrupt now. He laughed, thinking that she had to be joking.

"You are having us on right?"

She shook her head.

"No. Not at all. It works. The teacher gave us a list of kisses where it was never rehearsed and they are some of the most iconic kisses in history. It is a proven fact that if you don't rehearse a kiss, it turns out better."

Blaine laughed again, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but you are insane. We have to rehearse. It's one of the most important scenes in the whole show. We can't just forget about it and hope for the best on opening night."

To Blaine's annoyance, the producer dismissed him.

"Actually… I think Miss Berry might be on to something here. Think how long it took to you to bond with our other Felicity. It took ages to get that kiss right. Maybe if we don't make a big deal about it and you just do it on the night, knowing it has to be special… then maybe…. Just maybe….. it will be spectacular."

Rachel looked delighted at the mans words, while Blaine's mouth fell open in shock.

"What? You can't seriously be considering this. There were a hell of a lot of Maybes in that speech…. What if it's a disaster? What if we aren't compatible? What If we have no chemistry?"

Blaine jumped slightly as Rachel placed a hand on his arm.

"We have chemistry. Just…. Just trust me. I really believe in this theory. If we know we have to make it believable tomorrow night , then it will be. It will be a real first kiss. And yes, It could go wrong but…. I don't think it will."

Blaine shook his head and walked away from them both to get a drink of water. They were crazy if they thought this was a good idea. Although, he didn't want to admit to the fact that he was a little pissed off he wouldn't get to kiss her until tomorrow night. Even though he had been nervous to kiss her, he knew that he wanted to. He tried to shake his anger away as he took a sip of water, then walked back on to the stage. Rachel was looking at him anxiously but he ignored it and just started rehearsing the scene after the proposal.

They got to the end with no mistakes at all. Blaine was so nervous when it came to the shooting scene. As he fell to his knees and begged her to put him out of his misery, he couldn't help being dazzled by her. She really was stunning, and so talented. He didn't mean any disrespect to the other girl who had been playing Felicity, but Rachel was phenomenal. She had star power and she delivered her lines so well, so emotionally, that it moved even him after weeks of rehearsing.

As they finished, the producer told them to take a break before they had another run through. Blaine headed backstage again to get some water. Rachel followed along behind him.

"You're angry at me."

He held the door open to the dressing room , gesturing for her to go first, before walking in behind her. Then he went to the fridge, grabbed two bottles of water, and handed her one.

"No I'm not. What makes you think that?"

He took a sip of his water as he waited for her to respond.

She shrugged her shoulders, fiddling with the label on her bottle.

"Because of the kiss thing. I …. I probably shouldn't have been so forward but I truly believe it will make the scene better. It will be more believable."

Blaine walked over to the table and sat on top of it, even though there were plenty of chairs in the room. He patted the space next to him and she smiled, coming over to sit near him.

"I'm not angry. It just threw me a bit, that's all. I want tomorrow to be perfect. I have waited for this break for so long and I won't forgive myself if I screw up because we didn't rehearse properly."

She laughed. She had a nice laugh. It was the type of laugh a pretty girl should have. It made him smile.

"I've watched you for the last few weeks. You are incapable of screwing this up Blaine. You are so talented."

He couldn't help beaming at her words. He took another sip of water, more because he needed something to do with his hands rather than because he was thirsty.

"Thank you Rachel. You are talented as well. You deserved the lucky break today. Let's just hope we kiss as well as we act and sing."

Rachel started laughing and Blaine cringed at his words. It kind of sounded like he was insulting her. Like he didn't believe she would be a good enough kisser. He started trying to backtrack, feeling mortified.

"I mean… I'm sure you are a wonderful kisser. Like…. I'm sure you are really , really good, it's just… you might not be with me because I might make you rubbish or something and….. Well anyway, your lips look really kissable so I guess…. Oh shit. I'm just going to stop talking."

His cheeks were now bright red with embarrassment. He hadn't been this flustered for years. He could just imagine Sam taking the piss out of him for this little episode.

Her eyes were twinkling with amusement as she looked at him with a smile on her face.

"Blaine, everything will be fine, OK ? The kiss will be fine, you are worrying too much. And uh…. thanks. Your lips aren't so bad either."

He groaned and looked down at his legs.

"This would be a great time for the ground to swallow me up."

She laughed again. He was glad she was finding it so funny, he was absolutely mortified.

"If the ground swallows you up, we will have to find a new Tony. And after everything that's happened today, we don't really want that."

He smiled now. As much as he was embarrassed after making an idiot of himself, she was easy to talk to and she put him at ease.

"That's true. If I start sinking into the ground, you better pull me back up again." She grinned, then to his complete amazement, reached over to touch his hair. She frowned as she looked at it.

"That is a serious amount of gel. Why do you wear so much?"

He reached up to touch his hair self consciously and shrugged his shoulders.

"It's for the part of Tony. The producer asked me to wear it like this from day one of rehearsals so I could apparently morph into him. I didn't protest, I wanted this job so bad I would have shaved my hair all off if that's what he wanted."

She pulled her hand back, still smiling at him. He couldn't help but smile back, it was infectious.

"Huh. I've been wondering for weeks why you wear so much. You have nice hair. I think. It's hard to tell really."

He chuckled, and looked back down at his legs, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"Thanks. I don't really though…. It's curly. It's a nightmare."

He watched her as she jumped up from the table.

"Sounds gorgeous. Maybe I'll get to see it one-day when you aren't being Tony."

He tried not to show his shock at her words. Was she…. Was she asking him out? No. She couldn't be. He nodded, unable to find any words.

"I'm going to get back out there. I have more to learn than you do. See you in a bit."

He nodded again as she hurried away and out through the door.

He stayed sitting where he was for a good five minutes, trying to get his head back into the game. Opening night was tomorrow and he couldn't afford to lose focus.

And he definitely couldn't afford to be flustered over Rachel Berry any more than what he already was.

Rule number one on Broadway - never fall for a co-star.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Wounded Silence – Chapter 3**

Blaine and Rachel worked tirelessly for the rest of the day, going over the play again and again. Blaine was surprised the producer even allowed them home to sleep he was working them so hard. Needless to say, he didn't get much. Not only was it his opening night the very next day, he had Rachel Berry constantly on his mind.  
The next morning when he arrived, Rachel was already there. She was pacing up and down the stage, muttering to herself. He raised an eyebrow and walked over to her, his arms on both of her shoulders, trying to make her stop.

"Hey. Stop pacing. What's wrong?"

She looked anxious and worried. Nothing had seemed to faze her yesterday, he guessed that things must have really kicked in for her today. Last minute nerves.

"My costumes haven't been fixed yet. They are saying they might not be ready until tonight . This is awful Blaine, what if the measurements aren't right tonight either and I have to go on in some horrendous clothes that don't even fit properly?"

He couldn't help but smile. If the clothes were the only worry she had then she was doing just fine.

"Chill out. Everything will be OK. And anyway, if you can leave our kiss to chance then you can leave the clothes to chance as well."

She took a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders under his touch.

"You're right. I'm stressing about the little things. It will all be OK . Right? Tell me I'm right?"

He chuckled and let his hands drop from her shoulders.

"You are right. It's all going to be perfect. Are you sure you don't want to rehearse the kiss today?"

Her eyes twinkled as she looked at him. He felt kind of nervous actually. Yesterday she had been in her normal work clothes all in black, and she looked great. But today she was in a baggy white sweater and a hounds tooth skirt, her long brunette locks were falling over her shoulders. She looked good. Really good.

"Anyone would think you were desperate to kiss me Blaine. If you ask again I might just be tempted."

He watched open mouthed as she walked away to talk to the producer. Was it just him imagining things or did she keep saying things to set him on edge? Maybe not. Maybe he was just over thinking things. He shook his head and set to work. Yet again it was hours of rehearsing. But playing along side Rachel didn't really feel like work. He was in complete awe of her talent. She lit up the whole stage.

Before long , it was time to get ready for the first real show . This was it. This was his big Broadway debut. Everyone who was important would be here tonight. Critics, former Broadway stars, current Broadway stars, a few celebrities and of course…. Friends and family. He had his big brother Cooper and his best friend Sam in. Each cast member were only allowed two tickets for family and friends.

It was only when he walked out and stood behind the curtain waiting for it to rise that he knew this was real. This was it. His mouth was dry and his hands were clammy as the curtain rose and he was faced with a packed audience, all eyes on him. He took a deep breath and launched into the first number, hoping he wouldn't screw it up. He would get through it , he had to.

He hadn't missed any lines, he had hit every note he was supposed to, and he hadn't messed up any dance moves yet. But when Rachel Berry walked out on to the stage, he knew instantly that he was going to have to work extra hard to keep focus.

When 'Tony Carter' first meets 'Felicity' , he falls extra hard for her because she's not like other girls. She's classy. She walks past him in the casino in a floor length golden gown, and then the song 'A Man Like You' happens. Blaine gulped as Rachel floated past him. She looked absolutely amazing. He didn't want to look at her, she was distracting him. But he had to look at her.

He tried to snap out of it and perform the song with her, and he thought he did a pretty good job. Rachel was even better now she was doing it for real, and the audience were loving it.

Blaine still felt clammy and nervous as the kiss scene crept up on them. As he stood opposite Rachel, his heart raced. He wondered if he was about to have a heart attack on his opening night.

He closed his eyes briefly, trying to rid himself of the thought. Everything would be fine , he was just panicking.

Blaine was on his knees looking up into Rachel's eyes as he proposed to her. This was it. The un-rehearsed kiss. If this all went wrong, he wouldn't be able to forgive her very easily. Or himself.

"I'm a crook. I'm a joke. I don't have a heart. At least…. That's what I thought. And then I met you Felicity. And I want to be a better person. You make me a better person. Nothing would make me happier than you being my wife. Felicity Hart, will you marry me?"

He rattled the script off on autopilot, not even thinking about what he was saying. All he could concentrate was Rachel's dark brown eyes as she stared down at him. All he could feel were her soft hands as they clasped his. She really was a brilliant performer. Her eyes watered up as she shrieked 'Yes', making the whole thing even more believable for the people watching.

Blaine stood up, his legs feeling shaky at what was about to come. He still had her hands in his as he pulled her towards him. It was only now he was this close to her under the spotlight that he could really see her. The edges of her dark brown eyes had flecks of gold in them. Her dark long eyelashes were casting a shadow on her cheeks. And her lips were… well, he couldn't really describe them. All he knew is that he wanted to kiss them.

His hands let go of hers as he reached up to brush a strand of hair away from her face. She looked confused as he traced a finger down her cheek, stopping when he reached her lips. As he leaned in closer to her, he could feel her breath on his cheek. She smelt of vanilla. His heart was still thudding as slowly, his lips touched hers.

He felt her gasp of shock at the contact and his arms reached round her waist pulling her in closer to him. She tasted as good as she smelt. He closed his eyes as they both relaxed into the kiss, smiling as he felt her hands on the back of his neck. He shivered at first at the touch, but it only made his lips crush in harder to hers.

He knew he should stop, he knew he was supposed to stop, but somehow, his tongue pushed forward gently into her mouth. He felt relief as she allowed him to kiss her, and when he felt her tongue exploring his mouth in return, he knew nothing had felt as good. His hands ran up her back as she carried on kissing him. She had been right all along, who needed to rehearse a kiss when it was as good as this?

Shit.

He stepped away from her, his breathing heavy as he searched her face. How could he have acted that way? He was on stage in front of a packed theatre and he had just completely lost himself. He was supposed to be 'Tony' kissing 'Felicity' but that had definitely felt like he was 'Blaine' kissing 'Rachel'.

She looked completely shocked as she reached up to touch her lips.

"I just agreed to marry you. You were supposed to spin me round, dip me low and give me a movie kiss."

He tried to hide his embarrassment as a few of the audience members lightly laughed. This wasn't in the script. She was reminding him of what was supposed to have happened. What was wrong with him? Why had he kissed her like that? He shrugged his shoulders, looking at the stage floor. He knew every member of the audience was enthralled by what was going on. He hoped with all his heart that they thought it was part of the show.

He looked up at her again and took a breath to steady his nerves.

"That was real Felicity. A movie kiss could never touch a kiss like that."

He watched her blink in shock, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw his producer backstage waving frantically for him to run off. It was 'Felicity's' turn to do a solo song. Blaine couldn't help staring at Rachel as he walked away, she looked completely stunned by what had just happened.

When he got backstage , he grabbed a bottle of water and took a sip, his hands trembling.

"What the hell was that Anderson? That wasn't in the script."

Blaine winced as his producer was almost shouting at him. He hoped nobody could hear. He shrugged his shoulders, knowing he couldn't make a big deal about it.

"I'm sorry, I just…. I thought it would go better. It was a heat of the moment kind of thing. This is what happens when you don't let me rehearse one of the most important scenes in the show."

His producer sighed and walked away, shaking his head. Blaine had no choice but to finish his water and carry on with the rest of the show. He knew Rachel kept shooting him funny looks throughout the rest of the show, but he couldn't worry about that. He had to remember his lines.

Even though the last few days had been stressful, when he , Rachel and the rest of the cast walked back on to the stage to receive a standing ovation, he knew it had all been worth it. People were going wild . Blaine had been to a lot of shows before and been in them as part of the ensemble, and he knew that he had never had or seen a standing ovation that lasted this long. The cheers for him and Rachel as they took their final bow were deafening, and he thought that any moment he was going to burst with happiness.

When they all ran backstage, feeling completely euphoric, the producer made a beeline for him and Rachel, grabbing them both in a hug.

"Oh my God you two! I knew you could do it. You are stars. Complete stars. The official reviews won't be out until tomorrow but I paid somebody to sit next to the most harsh , prolific reviewer in New York to see what he was jotting down , and it's all good things! And that kiss….. everybody loved it. It was a stroke of genius. You need to keep it like that every night and say those exact same lines. Magic. Just magic. Go and take a breather for a minute, we are going out for drinks soon to celebrate!"

He slapped Blaine hard on the back in what he probably thought was a friendly manner as he walked away. Rachel giggled at the expression on his face as he rubbed his back. They walked to the dressing rooms together in silence and without even looking at each other, went their separate ways. Blaine changed out of his show clothes and washed the gel out of his hair at the tiny sink. He always kept a towel and shampoo in here for when he started the shows. The gel always felt horrible in his hair and he couldn't wait to get it out.

As he was towelling his hair dry, he heard a knock at the door. He frowned, guessing it was the producer again.

"Come in."

He couldn't summon up any enthusiasm in his voice.

He tried to hide his surprise as Rachel walked in and shut the door behind her. She looked glowing, probably still basking in what had just happened. He felt like that as well…. The only thing about the night that was giving him anxiety was that kiss. He had noticed the tension between them afterwards and if he had messed everything up, he wouldn't be able to handle it. This was his dream, nothing could go wrong.

She smiled kindly and walked up to the table she had sat on just yesterday after she had won the part. He smiled nervously back, but didn't go over to join her. He stood opposite her instead, leaning against the wall, his eyes searching her face for any clue of awkwardness. He couldn't sense anything was wrong.

"That was amazing tonight Blaine. You were amazing. I'm honoured to have been cast opposite such a talented performer."

He knew he was one step away from blushing as he smiled shyly, looking down at his feet.

"Thanks. You were incredible as well but… I'm sure I don't need to tell you that."

She laughed gently.  
"I do need to be told. I live for applause. Applause and compliments. Especially when the compliments are from somebody almost as talented as me."

He chuckled now, feeling at ease with her once more. She really was very easy to talk to. And he knew he would have to clear the air completely if they were to always act like this around each other.

"Look…. Rachel, I uh… I ….. the kiss. I'm sorry."

When he looked up at her, she was staring at him wide eyed. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, which frustrated him no end. She shook her head, and looked down at her hands. She was nervous now, he could tell by the way her hands were trembling. She tried to steady them, but he had already noticed. Maybe she was always nervous around him. Maybe she was just as nervous as he always was around her, she just hid it better.

"There's nothing to apologise for Blaine. It certainly wasn't the worst thing I've ever experienced in my life."

He laughed.

"Wow. What a compliment. Thanks Miss Berry."

She shook her head and jumped down from the table, walking over to him.

"It was…. It was nice. It was more than nice. It felt like…. I don't know. I can't explain it. I forgot we were on stage when you kissed me like that."

He tried to remember how to breathe properly as she stared at him. Now she was close again, he could smell the vanilla. Had she really felt the same as him about the kiss? He had never been the type to be confident with girls, but then… he had never met somebody like Rachel. He didn't feel like himself anymore. He carefully reached out to touch her arm. It felt like a million butterflies woke up inside of him at the thought of what he was about to do. He didn't care what the rules were. He was going to ask her out. He had never had a kiss like that before. Even though this was the biggest night of his life, it was all a small dot compared to the way he was thinking about her at the moment.

"Rachel… would you uh….. Oh God this is …. How do guys even do this? Uh… what I am trying to say is , maybe you and I could…"

He stopped, the shock showing on his face as she reached up to place a finger over his lips.

"I have a boyfriend."

The shot of disappointment that thundered through him was agony. He tried to compose himself so that he didn't look so hurt , but it was too late. She had already seen his hurt. She moved her hand away now , and looked up at him, full of guilt.

"I'm sorry… I should have told you sooner."

He shook his head and ran a hand through his curls, trying to act like this wasn't happening.

"What are you apologising for? I shouldn't have assumed. Of course you have a boyfriend, you're beautiful."

The smile on her face at his words was painful for him to witness. He wanted to be alone. But she didn't leave. She just stood there, searching his face for how he felt. He deliberately looked past her at the wall. He was determined not to give any more of his emotions away in front of her. He had already made enough of a fool of himself. When he realised she wasn't going to walk away, he reluctantly looked at her, hoping the pain had gone from his face.

"Does he make you happy Rachel?"

She sighed, then looked down at the floor. After a minute, she nodded her head. He didn't think it would hurt , but it did. And it was at this point when he knew he needed to get out of this situation. He hadn't even known her for long, he wasn't supposed to feel like this.

"Good. I'm pleased for you. Now go out there and celebrate your success tonight with your man. I need to go and find my brother and friend anyway, I'll see you for drinks in a bit OK ?"

She sighed again and shook her head. She looked embarrassed when her eyes met his.

"He's uh… he's not here tonight. It was short notice, he had something else already planned."

Blaine's eyes widened as he stared at her in disbelief.

"What was more important than watching his girlfriend on her opening night in a Broadway show?"

He didn't mean for his voice to come out so harsh, but he couldn't take it back now it was out. She frowned, and he knew he had hurt her.

"He has a lot going on right now OK ? And you just asked if he makes me happy, and I said yes. That's all that matters."

Blaine shrugged, trying to keep the bitter look off his face.

"Yes. That is all that matters."

He started walking away, unable to handle this conversation anymore, when she grabbed his arm, stopping him.

His breath caught as her hand travelled up his arm slowly, stopping when she reached his shoulder. With her other hand, she softly ran her fingers through his hair, making him shiver.

"Yesterday I said your curls sounded gorgeous. I was right. They are. You are."

She sounded nervous. He looked into her eyes as her fingers tangled in his hair some more. He gulped as she looked at him with such intensity that it made his stomach flip. He knew he had to get out of here. He took her hands away from him and placed them at her sides. Then he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"See you later Rachel."

He hurried out of the room before he could talk himself into staying with her. She was with someone.

He really did have to follow the rules now.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Wounded Silence – 4**

As Blaine hurried out of the dressing room, he bumped into the producer again who insisted that they were going for drinks right there and then. Blaine tried to back out, he really didn't want to go anywhere after the day he had just had. He was exhausted and he had just made a fool out of himself with Rachel, the last thing he wanted to do was sit there and pretend like everything was OK.

She had a boyfriend. Of course she had a boyfriend. The only girl he had felt something for in ages and she was with someone. He froze as he heard Rachel's voice behind them

"Going out for drinks sounds like a great idea. Come on Blaine, we need to unwind after that. It was our opening night, we need to celebrate somehow."

Blaine knew it would look weird now in front of the producer if he declined, so he reluctantly agreed, much to the delight of both Rachel and the producer. He tried not to react as Rachel linked his arm and squealed with excitement as they followed the producer out of the building.

They walked along in silence. Blaine had no idea what to say to her after the encounter in the dressing room. But it didn't matter. She wasn't speaking either. He couldn't help but be annoyed that she was holding on to his arm. Any other person looking at them walking along would believe they were a couple.

He glanced at her, alarmed to find that she was already staring at him as they walked. He looked away quickly, feeling embarrassed. He was just about to release his arm from hers when the producer led them through a door into a rusty looking old building. The building was on a side street and from the outside, looked awful. But Blaine soon realised that wasn't the case on the inside as he and Rachel looked around in awe.

They had entered a very impressive exclusive members only club. Some of their cast members were already there in a VIP area sipping champagne. They hurried over to join them, and as soon as Blaine was offered a glass , he drank it in one. Rachel looked shocked as he drained his glass, but he pretended not to notice. As she sat down with the girl who plays her sister, he walked over to the bar, perching on a stool by himself. He knew it looked like he was being unsociable, but he hadn't had a minute to think and he just needed time to process things. Process the fact that he had just had his very own opening night. Process the fact that he had to work with a girl he had clearly already developed feelings for that was taken. He had too many thoughts in his head. It was horrible.

He didn't get much time to think. It was only a few minutes later when Rachel came and sat on the stool next to him. He knew he had to be civil to her. It wasn't her fault that other men thought she was as beautiful as he did, and he had to work with the girl every night, they needed to be on friendly terms.

"What do you want to drink then leading lady?"

She smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. He wished she wouldn't smile at him like that. It woke up all the butterflies in his belly and made his legs feel weak. It's a good job he was sitting down.

"I'll have a glass of wine please."

He smiled in return and ordered the drinks. He chose a beer for himself. When the barman handed them the drinks, he turned his body towards Rachel, looking at her nervously. She smiled shyly and thanked him for her drink before taking a sip.

"It got a bit weird back there didn't it? I'm sorry."

He took a sip of his own drink and shook his head. He felt guilty now that he had made her feel awkward. He hadn't meant to.

"You don't need to say sorry Rachel. It was my own fault. I barely know you and I nearly asked you out. I'm the one who should apologise."

He watched as her hand moved across to his own that was resting on the bar. She gently placed hers on top of his and smiled at him reassuringly.

"You don't need to say sorry either. We do have a connection Blaine. It's… it's confusing to me as well. But there is something between us."

He moved his hand and looked away from her, taking another sip of his drink.

"Don't say things like that. It doesn't make any of this easy when you agree with me. Let's just forget it ever happened ok?"

"OK ."

Her voice was quiet and she sounded hurt. He looked at her again and smiled.

"Friends?"

He asked, with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.

She nodded and took another sip of her drink.

"Friends."

She stood up from the bar stool and walked back over to the other cast mates. He supposed he better join them. He didn't want everyone thinking he was unsociable on the first night. He grabbed his beer and walked over to the tables, sitting down exactly opposite Rachel. It was the only place in the area left.

As she settled in to conversation with the girls on her side, Blaine pretended like he was listening to the producer who was rambling on and on about how great the show was. It had been lovely hearing this praise the first few times, but after a while there was only so much he could take.

Occasionally he would sneak a look at Rachel. And every single time he did, their eyes met. He didn't know if she was staring at him all the time or just looking at him when he looked at her, but either way, it was unsettling. Every time he thought of their kiss earlier, his belly flipped. It wasn't even a real kiss, and yet it was the best kiss he had ever had in his life. He couldn't remember ever feeling that way before.

He jumped in surprise as Rachel kicked him gently under the table and leant forward to say something to him. He leant in closer so he could hear her over the noise in the club. They were leaning in so close to each other that their noses were almost touching. He was glad he wasn't standing, she would have seen how shaky he was.

"Do you want to get out of here for a bit?"

He raised an eyebrow at her question. As much as he knew it wasn't a good idea to go anywhere with her when she had a boyfriend, he didn't want to be here any longer. Just as he was about to answer her, a man came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her neck in a playful way. She squealed at first, and when she looked up to see who it was, she broke into a grin and stood up to greet him.

Blaine watched in horror as she jumped up on him, kissing him with delight. It wasn't exactly a gentle kiss either. They were making out like a couple of school kids. Blaine folded his arms across his chest and sat back against the chair, scowling at his drink in front of him. This was all he needed. Earlier on today, he had been blissfully unaware that Rachel even had a boyfriend, now he had to watch them all over each other.

Just as he thought the situation couldn't get any worse, the guy sat in the seat Rachel had just been sitting in and pulled her into his lap, nuzzling her neck like an over excited teenage boy.

Rachel beamed at Blaine from the other side of the table.

"Blaine, this is my boyfriend, Jesse St James."

Blaine looked at Jesse in disgust as he tried to shake his hand. He kept his arms folded across his chest and looked at Rachel.

"I can see it's your boyfriend. The way you had your tongue down his throat just verified it for me."

Rachel frowned at his words while Jesse sat there with an annoying grin on his face. When he realised that he wasn't going to shake his hand, he moved it back, deliberately resting it on Rachel's thigh. With the sole purpose of winding him up. OK , so Blaine knew he was being petty with these thoughts, but he couldn't help it. He already didn't like this Jesse bloke, and as much as he was jealous, he had a feeling the dislike was also because he was a complete douche. He had an arrogant way about him.

"So… you must be the guy who gets to kiss my girl every night on stage."

Blaine didn't say anything. He picked his drink up and downed it in one go . He didn't want to move to go to the bar, so he grabbed the nearest bottle of champagne and an empty glass, helping himself. Rachel was still frowning at his attitude, but he didn't care. He didn't have to be civil to the guy.

Rachel spoke up, knowing that Blaine wasn't going to say anything.

"Well aren't you both the lucky ones? You get to be my real boyfriend and now I have a stage boyfriend. You are just about the luckiest guys in the world."

Jesse kissed her on the cheek, beaming at her as she giggled. Blaine scowled again and sipped his drink. He couldn't help but look at the both of them, they were right in front of him. When Rachel saw his expression , she sighed.

"I didn't mean it Blaine. I was only joking…. I'm not that big headed. I'm sorry."

She smiled apologetically and he instantly felt guilty. It wasn't her fault he had developed a stupid crush on her. He tried to smile at her, but he knew it didn't look sincere.

"I know. Ignore me. I'm just tired. It's been a mad day."

Jesse laughed really loudly as if something was hysterically funny.

"Tell me about it dude. I have been so busy today. This morning I had to be up really early just because this girl at the show i'm in wanted to go over some choreography, then I had errands to do , before seeing my best mate for a couple of beers. And as if all that wasn't mad enough, I get a call from a friend of Rachel's telling me she's in this club and I had to walk ten minutes across town to get here."

Blaine looked from Jesse, to Rachel… and back to Jesse again open mouthed. Was he being serious?

"Wait…. Rachel told me you were busy earlier. That's why you couldn't make it to opening night…. I'm confused."

Jesse nodded, his face serious.

"Yeah man. I was so bummed to miss out on her big night wasn't I baby?"

He looked at Rachel who nodded, before shooting Blaine a look. He couldn't tell what the look meant. It was half embarrassment, half warning. His attention turned back to Jesse as the douchebag carried on talking.

"But I can't let down my best mate. Our weekly beers are important to us . We need to let off steam sometimes you know dude?"

Blaine's jaw clenched in anger. He took another sip of his drink to try and calm himself down.

"So you missed your girlfriends opening night on Broadway to have a weekly beer with your best friend?"

Rachel looked away sadly. Jesse nodded again.

"Yeah. It sucks but what can you do? I'll get to see her soon I'm sure."

Blaine shook his head and downed the rest of his drink.

"Unbelievable. Excuse me."

He stood up, pushing past people to get away from the table. He knew if he looked at Jesse anymore he would end up using his fists. He escaped to the bathroom for a few minutes to take a few deep breaths, then he went back out into the main club, sitting at the bar where he and Rachel had sat a little while back.

He ordered another beer which he knew wasn't the best idea. He had already had more drinks than what he was comfortable with , but he felt like he needed them. Half an hour passed by as he sat at the bar with his drink. Every now and then a cast member would come up and talk to him. He made sure to apologise to everyone for being a bit of a grump, he just hoped they believed his excuse of it being an overwhelming day. He didn't want anyone to think it was because of Rachel.

Of course, he couldn't help but look at Rachel and Jesse. Every time he looked over, Jesse was draped over her like a leech. It was disgusting. It took all his will power to not get involved when he saw Jesse's hands keep sliding up the back of her top when he thought nobody else was looking. Blaine wasn't angry because Jesse was touching her, he was angry because Rachel kept telling him no but he still did it anyway. She pushed his hands off her around five times. Blaine nearly broke the beer bottle he was holding through anger.

He knew he couldn't say anything. He barely knew Rachel. It wasn't his place.

Blaine knew it was time to call it a night. They had a show to do tomorrow and he had already drunk way past his limit. He looked for Rachel, wondering if she would be offended if he left without saying goodbye to her. He just didn't think he could talk to Jesse without using his fists. But he couldn't see her anywhere. He did however, see Jesse being a complete sleaze over the girl who plays Rachel's sister in the play. He had his hand on her waist and it was clear to anyone in the whole club that they were flirting. Blaine knew he had to leave right away before he did something he would later regret. He cursed under his breath and swept out of the club without saying goodbye to anyone.

He couldn't believe the nerve of that man. The fact that he had a girl like Rachel and was treating her like that was wrong on so many levels. He shivered slightly in the cold night air. He started walking along, jumping in surprise as he saw Rachel leaning against the wall , looking up to the sky. Despite his brain warning him to go the opposite way and ignore her, his heart made the decision for him. He walked up to her, feeling shy. He couldn't tell if she had noticed him , she was still looking up at the stars. She looked sad.

He touched her arm gently, she jumped slightly and smiled when she realised it was him.

"Are you looking up at the stars because you are one now?"

She laughed while she looked at him, her eyes twinkling with amusement.

"You charmer. I'm not a star yet Blaine."

He smiled kindly , realising he was still touching her arm. He let his hand drop and looked into her eyes.

"You will be. Tonight was just the beginning."

She still had a small smile on her face as she shrugged unsurely. She didn't say anything. For a minute, they just looked at each other. He couldn't look away. He didn't want to look away. She really was beautiful. Anger shot through him as he remembered Jesse was inside hitting on another girl.

"What are you doing out here anyway Rachel?"

She sighed and looked down at her hands.

"I just… I needed some air, you know?"

Blaine nodded. He knew she was really saying that she needed space from Jesse. The words didn't have to be spoken. She looked back at him.

"What are you doing out here?"

He shrugged, feeling embarrassed again. He didn't know what it was about her that made him feel so shy. He wasn't usually like this.

"I'm going home."

Her eyes widened in shock.

"You were going to leave without saying bye weren't you?"

Blaine shrugged again. They both knew she was right, so he didn't see the point in saying anything about it.

"Your boyfriend is a jerk Rachel."

He felt bad as pain crossed her face. She shook her head sadly, never taking her eyes off him.

"Blaine…. Don't."

He was full of guilt as her eyes shone with tears. He reminded himself again that it wasn't his place to get involved. He sighed and pulled her to him, wrapping her up in his arms.

"I'm sorry."

She shivered as he whispered in her ear. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, then let her go. He managed a weak smile as she gazed at him.

"See you tomorrow."

She didn't say anything. She just nodded. He had to walk away before the alcohol in his system made him do something stupid. And as much as he wanted to, he knew that kissing her would be the worst mistake he could make.

He knew her eyes were on him as he walked away.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Wounded Silence – Chapter 5**

Blaine groaned and clutched his head in pain as he woke up in a daze the next morning. His head was pounding. How could he have gotten so drunk? His mouth was dry and he felt like he was going to throw up. Even though the sunlight filtering through his bedroom window was agony, he forced himself to sit up and open his eyes. He remembered the events from last night, and although he was a little embarrassed he had behaved like a jealous idiot, he couldn't be completely angry with himself. Anyone would have reacted the way he did at a girl like Rachel going out with that douche Jesse. She deserved way better than him.

He groaned again as he gingerly stepped out of bed, the movement sending shooting pains through his skull. This was all he needed when he had another show to do tonight. It was only the second show and he needed to be on top form, but instead…. He was a hung over mess. He padded to the tiny kitchen he shared with his best friend Sam and gulped down two glasses of cold water one after the other. He took some painkillers for the pounding in his head and amazingly, managed to shower without throwing up.

He spent the day feeling sorry for himself, willing himself to be able to perform the show and vowing that he would never get himself in this state again when he had a show day. He tried to put all thoughts of Rachel out of his head, but she kept creeping back in occasionally when he ran over some lines. He forced himself to eat some dry toast, hoping it would help the growling in his stomach but not daring to eat anything else in case the alcohol from last night came visiting, then set off for the theatre.

He had thrown on a white t-shirt and jeans, it was always his go to outfit when he just couldn't be bothered to look for anything different. Sam always made fun of him for wearing the same thing but Blaine didn't care. Why change the style if it was one he was comfortable with? And anyway, it's not like he had anyone to impress now. Rachel was all loved up with the worlds biggest douche and he had no chance with her, so it really didn't matter.

He hurried into the theatre and made a beeline for his dressing room, sighing in relief when he didn't encounter anyone else along the way. He wasn't in the mood for chit chat. He just wanted to get ready for the show, do it without his head exploding and get home to rest up and be on top form for the next one. Which is why he was half angry, half surprised to find Rachel leaning against his door.

She looked as beautiful as ever. She was in a simple light blue skater dress and her hair was piled up in a messy bun, with loose strands falling down over her face. She didn't have a scrap of make up on but she didn't need it. Her huge brown eyes sparkled as he walked up to her. She stood up straight while he tried to plaster a convincing smile on his face.

"Hey Rachel."

He winced as he spoke. Other than muttering his lines quietly throughout the day, this was the first time he had spoken properly out loud and it made his head pound again. He decided he would need to take more painkillers before the show if he was to get through singing loud songs and belting his lines out. Rachel frowned as he spoke, her eyes questioning.

"You're hung over aren't you?"

Blaine shrugged. He didn't much care for her disapproving attitude towards him. He was only in this state because of her anyway, he really didn't want a lecture. He pulled out his keys from his pocket and when he found the small silver one for the dressing room, he gestured at Rachel to move so he could open it. She edged to the side, still watching him with a frown.

"So what if I am?"

He walked into the room and headed immediately for the tiny cupboard where a small first aid kit was kept, finding the painkillers straight away. He heard her sigh behind him as he gulped the pills down with water.

"It's our second night Blaine. It doesn't exactly scream professional. What if we have more critics in?"

He didn't look at her as he walked over to sit on the hard plastic chair in front of the mirror and started applying lashings of gel to his curly hair, to achieve the look for his character.

He could see her in the reflection scowling at him, waiting for an answer. Her arms were folded across her chest and he could tell she was angry with him. He shrugged and looked away from her , concentrating on his hair that was refusing to sit in the right way.

"I have wanted this my whole life Rachel so spare the lectures. I will get through it whether I am hung over or not so stop fussing."

She sighed again and walked closer behind him, her reflection looming in the mirror.

"It's not enough to just 'get through it'. You say you've wanted this your whole life and yet here you are, second night of the show….. looking like you are at deaths door all because you couldn't handle your drink. We are supposed to wow those people out there Blaine, not just get through it. I'm really disappointed in you right now."

Blaine's jaw set in a hard line as he gave up with his hair, that would have to do for tonight. He stood up, walked away from the mirror and headed for the door. His hand lingered on the door handle, he knew that if he just opened it and told her to get out, it would look unbelievably rude. He had to work with her, things needed to be kept civil.

"Was there something you wanted Rachel?"

She still looked annoyed, but she let her arms drop to her side and walked up to where he was. The way she stared at him was really intense and made his heart flip, he didn't really want her to look at him like that, but he knew he couldn't look away. She was mesmerizing.

"I just came to say hi. I thought maybe we could hang out before the show. I don't think anyone else in the cast even likes me that much because I lucked out on the job. They don't think I deserve to be here."

Blaine couldn't help feeling sorry for her as she looked down at the floor sadly. Before he realised what he was doing, he put his hand under her chin and tilted her head up to look at him. She looked so sad and he wished he could just take her into his arms and tell her that everything would be OK."

"You do deserve it Rachel. You deserve to be here more than anyone I know. They don't realise that you have worked your ass off just as much, if not more than them to try and get a part ….. they don't know your back story. They were the ones that lucked out getting roles in plays when most of them don't even have half the talent or drive that you have. You were stuck working in theatres behind the scenes when all along you should have been out on that stage. Ignore them. And once they get to know you, they will love you. They will."

He couldn't fail to notice how her eyes went from sad to hopeful at his words.

"Do you really think so?"

He dropped his hand away from her face before the urge he had to pull her in for a kiss over took him. He smiled kindly.

"Of course. It will all be OK , you will see."

She grinned and brushed some loose strands of hair away from her face.

"Thanks. Really, I appreciate that. I should have listened to Jesse really… he said the same thing. I'm just stubborn and once I have these thoughts in my head….. they just stay there."

The mention of Jesse snapped Blaine back to reality. He felt the anger bubble up inside him. She jumped as he opened the door suddenly and gestured at her to get out.

"You should have said that you already went crying to your boyfriend. It would have saved me the trouble of praising you up and making myself look like a fool."

She gasped , looking at him in shock. He didn't care. He was angry. All it took was the mention of Jesse and he turned into some kind of cold hearted jerk.

"Blaine… I … I …..shouldn't have….."

He shook his head, unable to look at her anymore.

"It doesn't matter Rachel. You have every right to talk about him. He's your fella. I get it. My head hurts. Just …. Just go. I need to prepare for the show and just…. Look, we will talk tomorrow OK? I need space."

He couldn't bear the look on her face as she shoved past him and walked out. He slammed the door, angry at himself for reacting so stupidly. He couldn't act that way every time she mentioned Jesse. Which would probably be a lot. He had to sort himself out. He would perform tonight and take tomorrow to really get rid of all these feelings that were just overwhelming him at the moment.

Before he knew it, it was time to go on for the show. Despite the fact he still felt rough, he put on the same performance as he did last night. He lived for being on stage and there was no way he would ever put less than one hundred percent in. In fact, he could have sworn that the crowd cheered even more tonight than they had on opening night, so he knew he had done a good job.

It helped that he was playing alongside the star power of Rachel of course. It was only the second night, but he knew he wouldn't be losing the awe he felt whenever he watched her any time soon.

Of course he had been nervous about the kiss scene. His producer wanted him to do exactly the same thing as last night , but when it came to it, he couldn't. He couldn't kiss Rachel like that again. Instead, he stuck to the original kiss of dipping her low just like the movies. He made sure his lips barely touched hers. He couldn't be sure, but he thought she looked disappointed when he pulled away from her. He tried to put her disappointment out of his mind, her reactions just confused him even more.

As soon as the show finished, he grabbed his things and ran out of the theatre. He didn't even wash the gel out of his hair, he would do it when he got home. He just didn't want to risk another run in with Rachel, not while he felt like this.

When he woke up the next morning, he knew that nothing had changed. He still felt exactly the same as he had yesterday and he knew that he would have to put on the performance of his life to convince Rachel he would be OK with her.

But as soon as he got the theatre that night and saw her leaning against his door again, he knew he couldn't do it. All his resolve to act normal with her just went.

He sighed and closed the gap between them, knowing that this would crush them both.

"What are you doing outside my dressing room again Rachel?"

His voice sounded colder than he had meant it. Her eyes flashed with something, though he didn't quite know what. He watched as her cheeks turned slightly pink and she looked down at the floor.

"I just… I wanted to see if I could hang out with you before the show."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. How could she not know how horrible this was for him? Even the smell of her was enough to torture him, he just couldn't do it.

"It's not a good idea. I just…. I'm sorry. I can't."

She shrugged and looked back up at him, she looked hurt but she tried to hide it.

"Tomorrow then?"

He shook his head again and willed himself to look into her eyes.

"No. I can't. We can't. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that I like you Rachel. Let's not make this any harder than what it has to be."

Guilt surged through him as pain crossed her face.

"Don't you think you are being a little silly? We haven't even known each other long…. Surely we can just be friends and hang out?"

He shrugged now, his palms felt sweaty just being this close to her. He had never acted this way with anyone before and he felt like an idiot.

"Maybe I am being silly. But I am also being honest. I can't be friends with you."

Now it was her turn to be angry. She stepped away from the door and glared at him.

"Fine. That's just fine. We do the show and other than that, we won't talk. If that's the way you want it?"

He was unable to speak. Instead, he just nodded glumly.

She shook her head and turned away from him.

"This is bullshit."

Her voice was hard and angry. He watched as she walked down the corridor and out of sight completely.

As he walked into his dressing room and closed the door behind him, he couldn't help thinking he had just made a massive mistake.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Wounded Silence – Chapter 6**

The next few days were hard for Blaine. Not only was he shattered physically and mentally from doing his first week of shows, he had to deal with the hostility between him and Rachel. They didn't say one word to each other before or after the shows. He tried to once, when their paths crossed in the corridor aster a particularly good show, but he couldn't. She looked hopeful that he would speak, but when he didn't, she walked away, shaking her head sadly.

It didn't help that with each passing day she was looking more and more beautiful. He had pretty much resigned himself to the fact that he and Rachel wouldn't ever be on speaking terms again, which is why he was so shocked when, exactly 11 days after the show had started, he found her waiting outside his dressing room.

She had a navy blue skater dress on, her hair was in a messy braid and she looked nervous. He hated that she was like this around him, nervy and on edge, but then…. He only had himself to blame. He was the one who couldn't handle his feelings. He ran a hand through his curls, took a deep breath and walked up to her.

"Before you shout at me for being here, I have to tell you something."

Her words came out hurried. She looked down at the floor, waiting for him to say something. It took him a minute to be able to even find any words. Did she really just say that? She thought he would shout at her? Wow, he really had been playing the part of cold hearted jerk well these last few days.

"Hey. Come on, you really think I would shout at you for being here?"

She didn't answer. She just carried on staring at the floor. He sighed and very gently, placed his hand on her chin, tilting her head up so she would look at him. When her eyes finally met his, it nearly took his breath away. You could see everything in her eyes. And right now, she still looked nervous even…. even frightened.

"Rachel, listen to me….. I know I've been…. Well. You know. But I don't want you to feel that you can't talk to me. And I don't want you to be nervous and frightened around me. What's wrong?"

She sighed and when he knew she was going to speak, he dropped his hand away from her. It was for the best really. He knew if he carried on touching her it would be easy to lean in for a kiss. A real kiss, not just a stage one.

"I just thought I should warn you that uh…. Jesse is coming to watch the show tonight."

Jesse. Every time that name was mentioned it felt like a punch to the gut. He tried not to show it though. With great difficulty , he managed to put a smile on his face.

"Oh. You didn't need to warn me. It's… it's fine. He's only eleven days late."

Rachel shook her head, her eyes flashing with hurt.

"Just don't."

He shrugged. He hadn't meant to make the jibe, it just came out.

"I'm sorry. Why are you telling me?"

She sighed again.

"I just thought you should know. I don't want any trouble."

Her words hurt him more than they should have. He blinked in shock, wondering if he had even heard her right.

"Trouble? You think I'm going to cause trouble because your boyfriend is watching the show?"

His voice sounded bitter and hard. She realised straight away that she had said the wrong thing. She shook her head, looking apologetic. He gasped slightly as she laid her hand on his arm.

"That's not what I meant. I just…. I know you have bad feelings towards him and I didn't want you to catch sight of him in the audience in case it put you off your performance or something. I just wanted to warn you."

He scoffed, shaking her arm off as he walked past her, opening the door to his dressing room.

"Not everything revolves around you Rachel. I will be more focused on giving the paying audience a good show than being worried about you or Jesse."

Before she could say anything, he slammed the door behind him. He was furious that she seemed able to read him so well .

He tried to calm himself down as he got ready for the show. He had never acted this way with anyone before. Everything about Rachel just made him act in an irrational way. She was only really trying to be nice….. and he did appreciate being warned about Jesse. It would have been awful to be in the middle of a line and seeing his smug face sitting in the crowd, at least now he knew he was going to be there so it wouldn't be a shock.

Blaine spotted Jesse as soon as he walked on stage to deliver his first line. It was hard to miss him, he was sitting in the front row with a bored look on his face. The bored look didn't die down during the show, it just got worse. He even had the nerve to get his phone out and start texting from it. It was all Blaine could do to keep his cool. The guy was a douchebag and yet again, he had no clue what the hell Rachel saw in him.

When the interval came round, Blaine headed straight for Rachel who was backstage getting herself a drink of water.

"Are we keeping your boyfriend up or something ? He looks like he would rather be anywhere else on the planet right now."

He knew he sounded angry. He had almost yelled, the director who was rushing past with his arms full of paperwork looked at them in concern before moving away. Rachel took a few sips from her water bottle. Her cheeks were turning pink and Blaine couldn't figure out if it were because she was hot from the first act or if she was embarrassed that her boyfriend was being disrespectful to everyone in the show.

"Blaine, let's not do this here please." She nervously glanced at the people walking past them. The backstage area just like in every show was packed with people rushing around trying to get prepared for act two. "You are never going to like him, I get it. But don't slag him off to me, it's not fair."

Blaine groaned in annoyance, walking up to her and closing the gap between them. It always made him nervous to be this close to her, but right now, he was too angry to care.

"It isn't about me liking him Rachel. It's about him being a complete douche. It has taken him eleven days to see the show, and now he's here he is ignoring everything, yawning loudly and using his phone. If it was anybody else , you would be moaning about them. You moaned about that sweet old lady who innocently unwrapped a cough sweet last week during the show. And Jesse gets away with all that? He's in the wrong and you know it."

He felt bad as she closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath. She looked close to tears and he felt guilty for that. He didn't know why he felt so guilty when it was Jesse who was doing everything wrong.

"I … I have to go change for the next act. See you on stage."

Her voice was shaking as she spoke and he wanted more than anything to hug her and say that he was sorry. But he wasn't. He wasn't sorry that he was pointing out the true fact that Jesse was a jerk, he was only sorry for the pain it seemed to cause her every time he mentioned it.

He watched sadly as she rushed away, and by the time the second act was on, Blaine's anger towards Jesse if anything had intensified. Jesse seemed to be even ruder during this act. At one point, he actually turned around to the woman behind him and started having a conversation which threw Blaine off his lines. Jesse didn't look proud of Rachel. He just looked like he couldn't wait to get home.

As the show ended and they received a standing ovation from everyone but Jesse, Blaine knew he had to get home and quick. If he hung around here, he would do or say something he would regret.

He rushed to his dressing room, rinsing out his hair gel in record time and grabbing his keys and things for the way home, when he heard a knock at the door. He froze for a second , thinking it would be Rachel. He didn't know if he wanted to see her right now, he just seemed to make her upset every time they spoke and he didn't want that. But then he realised that she would be with Jesse right now and that it was probably the producer, so he went ahead and opened up the door, gasping as Jesse pushed past him with a smirk on his face.

Blaine shut the door, wondering what the hell he could possibly want. He turned to face him, shoving his keys in his pockets.

"This is…. unexpected. What do you want?"

Blaine had never heard himself be so hostile to anyone in his entire life before. It came as a shock to him.

Jesse went and sat on the edge of the table, that same smile still on his face.

"I came to tell you how great I thought the show was. Rachel will be a while getting ready yet so I told her I was going to have a walk around."

Blaine raised an eyebrow, his arms folded over his chest in disbelief.

"You thought the show was great? You could have fooled me. You were on your phone for ninety percent of it and the other ten percent, you were just being an ass."

Jesse laughed really loudly as if what Blaine had just said were the funniest thing ever.

"Oh you know how it is dude. No biggie."

Blaine actually let out a growl of disgust.

"No. I don't know how it is. And it is a 'biggie' . You were disrespectful. You were disrespectful to the whole cast, but especially to your girlfriend who performed her ass off tonight for you and you only."

Jesse laughed again and stood up from the table. He walked up to Blaine, who had to clench his fists to stop himself for swinging for the smug idiot.

"You know what you need bro? You need a night out with me."

Of all the things Blaine expected him to say, this was the last.

"Excuse me? I need a what?"

Jesse yet again laughed which just infuriated Blaine. Nothing he had said was remotely funny, so why was he laughing all the damn time?

"You need a night out with me. You need to loosen up. Rachel is always talking about you. She won't shut up about you actually so I figure you can't be that bad."

Blaine knew his cheeks were turning pink at the mention of Rachel talking about him. He couldn't stop himself from questioning it.

"Really? She…. She uh…. talks about me? What does she say?"

"Oh just all this stuff like 'Blaine is so talented, Blaine is so funny, Blaine is this , Blaine is that. In fact, for a while, I was worried in case she had a bit of a thing for you, so I took the liberty of asking one of your cast mates if there was anything going on. You know, that one who plays the sister…. Man she's a sweet piece of ass. Anyway, she told me you two barely spoke. But it doesn't stop Rachel going on about you so I think we should go out one night for some beers."

For a moment, Blaine felt guilty. He had hated Jesse from first sight and now the dude was inviting him out. He tried to ignore the fact that Jesse was basically drooling over another girls ass and concentrated on the guilt thing. Maybe he had him all wrong. Maybe he was a decent guy.

"I guess we could… my next night off isn't for a few days though."

Jesse slapped him on the shoulder with force in what Blaine presumed was meant to be a friendly manner.

"Great. It will be such a good night bro. And you have to bring your hook ups along. My circle is getting a bit…. Stale I guess. I'm looking for fresh meat."

Blaine was smiling at first, it took him a while to register what Jesse had said.

"I have to bring my hook ups? What does that even mean?"

Jesse rolled his eyes, the smirk from his face never disappearing.

"Oh come on man. Hook ups. Girls. Females. You must have had shit loads of women hit on you since you started this show. I get loads and I'm only part of the ensemble."

Blaine shook his head, he had a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"No. I haven't had any 'hook ups' since I started the show."

Jesse whistled and got his phone out from his pocket, studying the screen, then putting it away again.

"That sucks for you. It will happen soon. I mean… Rachel is…. Well, she's lovely. But you know the whole 'Why go out for a burger when you have steak at home' thing? Well I like steak and burgers. I like them equally."

Blaine's jaw clenched in a hard line. His hands were trembling and he was one step away from completely smashing Jesse's face in.

"I'm offended on Rachel's behalf that you are comparing her to a dead cow."

Jesse roared with laughter now, actually clutching his belly with the effort.

"You are so funny bro."

Blaine was seething. He didn't think he had ever felt so angry.

"So do you often go out for 'burgers' then Jesse? How much are we talking?"

Jesse's eyes lit up as he started speaking with enthusiasm.

"At least twice a week. I'm hardly going to say no am I dude? If these girls are offering it to me on a plate then I would be a fool to refuse."

Blaine closed his eyes for a second, trying to process this horrible information. Even though he had disliked Jesse from the get go, he had hoped that it was mainly jealousy. That Jesse really did treat Rachel like the princess she deserved to be. But no, he was an even bigger douche than what Blaine had even thought he was.

"Does Rachel know?"

Jesse chuckled lowly, a snarl on his face instead of the smirk now.

"Of course not. I'm not an idiot. I know a good thing when I've got it. I'm hardly going to screw it up am I?"

Blaine shook his head. He was too stunned to say anything.

"I take it you are asking me all these questions because you want to get in on it?"

Blaine almost wanted to laugh. Jesse really was unbelievably stupid. Still, he had to humour him while he decided just how he was going to act on this information.

"Yeah. Something like that."

Jesse slapped him on the shoulder again.

"You stick with me then. I'll bring some of the burgers out I was talking about. Next time though, you provide the burgers. Like I said before, mine are getting a little stale. Besides, I've slept with so many they are starting to find out about each other and it's getting a bit awkward. Still, I can sort something out for our beer night. It will be the best night of your life. Give me your digits and I will drop you a text with the details on your day off. "

Blaine ran a hand through his hair, his mouth feeling dry as he tried to swallow. This conversation was completely alien to him. How could one guy be such an asshole? And thick as shit with it.

Despite the fogginess of his mind, he suddenly had an idea.

"Sure, but I left my phone backstage somewhere, let me run and get it. I can never remember the number off the top of my head so… grab a drink or something from the fridge. I will be back in a minute."

Before Jesse could answer, Blaine ran from the dressing room. He headed straight for Rachel's room and pounded on the door. When she didn't answer immediately, he barged in. He couldn't afford to wait, for all he knew , Jesse might be following. She gasped as she saw him. She was changed from the show and looked as beautiful as ever. It actually hurt his heart to think that she was being treated so badly.

"Blaine, what are you….."

He stepped close to her, gently placing his finger on her lips to silence her.

"Sshhhh. I can't be here long. I'm sorry OK ? I'm sorry for everything. Will you have time to talk to me tomorrow? Before the show?"

His finger moved away from her lips, trailing across to her cheek instead. He knew his heart was beating erratically. It always did when he was near her. She nodded.

"Sure. Is everything OK ?"

He smiled, brushing her hair away from her face so he could see her better.

"Everything is fine. I just ….. I want to hang out with you. You are a great person Rachel, and I've been a fool for being so off with you. Meet me tomorrow at around four. There is that nice little café just a block down from here. Joe's or something , you know it?"

She nodded, a shy smile appearing on her face.

"Yes. It will be fun."

Blaine couldn't help but wince. He hadn't yet decided what he was going to tell her, all he knew is that he needed to spend some time with her. He doubted that her idea of fun would involve him telling her that Jesse was sleeping around, but he couldn't think about that yet.

"I have to go. See you tomorrow."

He headed for the door, and just before he walked out, he turned to face her.

"You really are beautiful you know. I hope you realise that."

He walked away before she could react, hurried back to Jesse and rattled off a fake number, then made his way home. His head was as usual full of thoughts.

He had no idea how he was going to break Rachel's heart, but somehow, he had to do it. And he knew that he would be there to look out for her, every step of the way. Even if she didn't want him around, he would be.

He had to protect her.


End file.
